The final victory

In May, 1943, German Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebells delivered the infamous "Totaller Krieg" (Total War) speech. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVP3KU-qOzc&feature=related ). Given the turning tide of the war on the Eastern front, and the Unites States joining Britain against Germany, the war situation was looking worse - and Germany was economically stretched to fight a war on three fronts. As Hitler had predicted, Germany must secure victory by 1943, before the Soviet Union and Britain's combined GDPs begin to overtake Germany - in this case, the Fuhrer was correct, as history shows. The "Total War" speech unites the Nation, who applaud when asked that, if required, they will work 13,14,15 hour days in armaments factories if the Fuhrer demands.

Much in history has been learnt from this great war, which people of today's generation cannot begin to comprehend the magnitude of. Myself, being quite the history buff - can appreciate the magnitude, lessons and principles of this war.

We can compare the daily struggle that is life to a total war, achieving things is all about strategy, and utilising the resources at ones disposal most efficiently - be that money, time, energy or personal influence. One cannot attempt to achieve too many simultaneous goals at one given time, for limited resources will ensure their failure.

Life is not a gift, but an eternal struggle. The struggle of live, the survival of the fittest, from bacteria through to mammals, if the fundamental law to evolution. The law of selection justifies this incessant struggle, by allowing the survival of the fittest.  Christianity is a rebellion against natural law, a protest against nature.  Taken to its logical extreme, Christianity would mean the systematic cultivation of the human failure.

I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature.

A good friend of mine who I once had an infactuation for, and another person who had an infactuation for me, however I ended things with after a month or two because I didn't feel the same way, both fantastic people, neither unattractive, both associated with me in some way.

These people have crossed paths and are now practically together.

The one I had the infactuation for, I believed wasn't interested in me in the same way because I'm unattractive. However, given the situaton with the other person who did like me...perhaps this isn't the case.

Maybe I've turned into the cold-blodded, self centred career-driven, workaholic slut I've always despised, the person my mother once was?

Maybe, even, my downfall is not pureley my unattractiveness, but something else?

Who knows - people go through life never knowing certain things.

The key, I think, is to keep 'plodding on'. Follow lifes routines and see where you end up. As far as I can see, every single goal I've set out to achieve by this point in life, has been ticked accomplished. A range of new goals have been set - and progress is on track to accomplish these. My lfie is planned out by these goals, every decison I make is toward the effort of accomplishing these established goals. This is the key to success, if one drifts, they will never achieve solid achievements - for these only come about by setting solid goals.

My one failure was the failure to give my first, and only true love the relationship he deserved.

Meanwhile, i'm getting into my wine stocks from Margaret River with the short-term goal of collapsing in a drunken state by about 11.

G'night.

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on him
Just to show that I'm thinking of him",
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "he died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

- by Charles Hanson Towne


I miss you. 

Another Golden Girl gone...

Rue McLanahan in her role in The Golden Girls, 1987.

This morning I learn't the news of the death of Rue Mclanahan, (76) otherwise known as Blanche in her role in The Golden Girls. Since I was a child I've been a fan of both the Rue, and the show - which was produced from 1985 to 1992, yet still shown in over 100 countries on TV today.

When I learnt of her passing, it hit a sensitive spot for me, for the loss of a truly amazing, talented and beautiful woman. Though also for more selfish reasons, perhaps. Rue's passing marks the end of an era, and the reminder that time will age and inevitably take away everyone thats important to us, and finally ourselves. Of course, we'd all like things to stay constant, for Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia to be living in Miami and eating cheesecake for eternity, in theory. The reality is, time is a cruel thing.

Some may think, why is it such a big deal to me, someone I don't even know passing. Well, growing up with the Golden Girls, to me, gave me a form of mother-figure which I then lacked, a way of escaping the troubles of growing up, they caught me to love, to cherish friendships and most importantly - they taught me how to laugh.

So, to Blanche, to Dorothy, Rose and Sophia - Rue, Bea, Betty and Estelle.

Thankyou for being a friend. To me.




Right: Bea Atrhur(left), Rue Mclenahan(centre) and Betty White (Right), more recently in 2008.

Below: Rue Mclanahan, pictured recently. Gracefully aged, and still beautiful.





NB: Betty White (Rose), now 88, the last of the "Golden Girls" still with us. Rue Mclenahan (Blanche) passed yesterday, Bea Atrhur and Estelle Getty died in 2009 and 2008 respectivley. I would encourage you to learn more about the lives of each of these great people. Youtube is a good source.

The winds are changing...

Proof, there is something between my ears.



At times I think there really wasn't much point in the fight of my life 3 years ago, I wouldn't have missed out on much. I guess we all get down at times don't we, its human. Though I wouldn't wish it on even those who I loved, but abandoned me at the time. That's saying alot.

Meh.

Gym is going well though, as is work. My time to shine is nearing I think...so I keep plodding on!

The days of our lives

One of life's few certainties is that time will always go on. It will go on taking from us what we love most, ageing us and eventually killing us. Sounds like a pretty bland, depressing way of looking at things - however there's no doubting that it's true and even logical, perhaps.

For me, time has taken away my mother, a good friend, seperated me from the one I love, and inevitably age, destroy and take away everything remaining of meaning - and never return anything back.

These are all certainties, there's no point trying to think of the "what ifs" - they don't happen, and unfortunatley all the certainties aren't good.

So. We'll keep on waitin' for time to keep doin' it's thing - all the while sitting obliviously. We still have our memories.

No...you're really not.

My general advice to people in most situations is don't say, insinuate or do something unless you can back it up. This especially applies when people are trying to make you believe that they are better than you.

So when they are embarrasingly proven to be a liar, it really is quite funny.

Don't lie people. Be yourself.

So, hes a big boy now.

About ten or so days ago I moved out of home with two friends of mine, really nice townhouse in Doubleview - closer to work, close to Scarborough and...thats about it really. Finding it easier than predicted, though I do miss coming home to a home made meal every day.

Nothing else is new really, same ol routines. Had a minor set back a couple of days ago, but turns out its not really a set back as it probably won't change things much anyway. However, if I hear anyone utter the words "plenty of fish in the sea" again, I will hit them. I dont want blowfish, I want caviar thankyou.

When everyones sleeping...

Why is it, the most predictable scenarios in life are the ones which suprise and hurt the most?

You know when you know something deep, deep down, yet deny it in the hope that things will work out? Perhaps a fault of human nature, or just ones stupidity, or maybe that emotions, desire...they defy logic.

I guess its something which can be applied to many things in life, relationships, financial decisions..anything really. Applying it to a relationship perspective, being the worst. One can get money back if they loose it, cant do that with a person. That one person is like no other. Good or bad, once you loose them, they are gone forever.

Either way, I see it an interesting thought to ponder...probably something I wont put into context online...though interesting nonetheless.

And i'm back

So it's been six months since my last post. Who reads this anyway?

Well from now on I'm probably going to be contributing to this a bit more, however with a slightly different angle. For one i'll be giving a quick summary of my progress at the gym every time I sign off. Since I've been putting my guts into bulking up, including changing my diet and having set workout routines and actually weighing myself I have noticed a huge difference in the way I feel and look.

To give you a basic idea, I came out of a 5 month relationship about 6 weeks ago. At that point I had lost alot of weight due to stress and a little mild depression, since snapping out of it and realising that I have alot more time to work on myself now, I have gained 6kg. Thats 1kg per week of muscle gain. Mainly to my arms, calves and chest/back. Body fat has also decreased and my long lost abs are beginning to become once again visible are proof of this (these dissapeared when I started an office job). The harder I train, the more of an appetite I get and the better I feel. Its quite awesome and the seeds of addiction have been well and truly sewed.

Goal is to hit 75kg by Jan 1 2010. I think I can do it, it's only 13 kg away. The hard part is packing on the muscle, and not fat.

I'm not making the entire blog about my gym progress, it will be a well balanced mix.

Promise.