A good friend of mine who I once had an infactuation for, and another person who had an infactuation for me, however I ended things with after a month or two because I didn't feel the same way, both fantastic people, neither unattractive, both associated with me in some way.

These people have crossed paths and are now practically together.

The one I had the infactuation for, I believed wasn't interested in me in the same way because I'm unattractive. However, given the situaton with the other person who did like me...perhaps this isn't the case.

Maybe I've turned into the cold-blodded, self centred career-driven, workaholic slut I've always despised, the person my mother once was?

Maybe, even, my downfall is not pureley my unattractiveness, but something else?

Who knows - people go through life never knowing certain things.

The key, I think, is to keep 'plodding on'. Follow lifes routines and see where you end up. As far as I can see, every single goal I've set out to achieve by this point in life, has been ticked accomplished. A range of new goals have been set - and progress is on track to accomplish these. My lfie is planned out by these goals, every decison I make is toward the effort of accomplishing these established goals. This is the key to success, if one drifts, they will never achieve solid achievements - for these only come about by setting solid goals.

My one failure was the failure to give my first, and only true love the relationship he deserved.

Meanwhile, i'm getting into my wine stocks from Margaret River with the short-term goal of collapsing in a drunken state by about 11.

G'night.